Was it the TPS Reports ... ?

To quote the indomitable Lloyd Dobler, "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that."

But I'm open to suggestions. That's because on November 19th I got laid off. I'm actually working until January 15th and I'll get a severance, but it still totally sucks.

Because even when you know it was completely out of your control (damn you, reorganization!), it starts to make you wonder about your worth in the working world.

But my response is, "Fuck that." Because I'm not defined by my job -- any of them. And becuase Liz, being the phenomenal planner that she is,  has already figured out our budget for the next 12 months and things don't look as doom-and-gloom as you might think.

We're going to pull Dash out of daycare, which sucks for him because he has lots of friends introducing him to things we planned to shield him from for at least 2 more years. But this way Liz won't have to stress out about Bakugan, whether he's eating his lunch, if he's behind on learning his ABCs or if one of us will make it in time to pick him up before the daily 6:30 pm deadline.

And the most important thing is that he and I will get some serious dude time -- and that is something that's long overdue for the Engel men. I'm sure we'll be ready to kill each other by the end of each week (day?), but I'm looking forward to it!

Now if I could just figure out what I want to be when I grow up....

And So It Begins -- Again

As I mentioned at the end of my Malibu Triathlon post, my next goal is to complete an entire triathlon. After extensive research -- I'm talking spreadsheets with location, distance, cost, etc. -- I decided on the Toyota Desert Sprint Triathlon in La Quinta, CA on March 7, 2010. It's a 500-meter swim, 14-mile bike ride and 3.1-mile run.

Having recently ridden 18 miles at Malibu, I'm not too concerned about the bike ride, and the house I grew up in had a swimming pool, so the water shouldn't be much of an issue. The running, however, has me a little concerned. About a dozen years ago, I was on my way to becoming an elite marathoner (OK, I never went farther than 4.5 miles, but I coulda been a contender!) but the constant pounding on my joints (namely, my hips) made me stop. But I recently bought a pretty good pair of running shoes, so I'm hoping I'll be OK.

I came up with a 16-week training program, thanks to the good people at BeginnerTriathlete.com, and if you're good at math, you'll know this means my training started today.

I've got a lot of nerve

With fall finally setting in, it has gotten downright cold lately in the evenings. And when you factor in the wind chill ... factor, it's pretty much gotten to the point where I need to start wearing cold-weather gear when I ride. Which I don't have. Nor do I really have extra cash lying around waiting to be spent on "convenience items" like full-fingered gloves or arm warmers. Needless to say, I haven't ridden in nearly two weeks.

But I'm usually not bothered by cold weather, and that's not really the reason I've been off the bike. Ever since I started riding back in June, every so often my left foot would start to go numb mid-ride. I know this is fairly common so I wasn't worried, and "shaking it out" would usually get the blood flowing again. About three weeks ago, I noticed my left big toe had that "pins and needles" feeling while I wasn't riding. And then my right thumb and forefinger starting being tingly, too.

Being a Jewish man, naturally my first thought was "tumor on my spine." But after talking to my neighbor (who is an avid mountain biker) and explaining my symptoms, he deduced I was most likely putting pressure on the nerve at the base of my right hand while riding (he didn't have a theory on the non-riding tingling in the left foot, though) and it was just irritated.

Since I've taken my unexpected break, I have noticed that my fingers and toes seem to be better. So I'll be referring to my neighbor as Dr. Jason from now on. At least until I go to my regular physician and he tells me it's something completely different.

In the meantime, recently I drove one of my (many) riding routes with my video camera, mostly just for shiggles. If you ever get even the slightest amount of motion sickness or you're already feeling a little queasy, then I recommend you do not watch this video. You'll definitely be really sad if you do. In fact, even if you've got an iron constitution, you might want to take some Dramaine or wear one of these.

8 miles @ 120 mph from Josh Engel on Vimeo.

Toe-tally committed

I've spent my entire life as a fan of the California Anaheim Los Angeles Angels major league baseball team, so it was only natural that I pass this unconditional and inexplicable love on to my son.  

I started planting the seed at an age when Dash was barely able to utter "Mama," let alone "2002 World Series Champions." Every time I had him on his changing table, I'd say "Vladimir. Guerrero." Repeatedly. It got to the point where all I'd say was, "Vladimir ...?" and Dash would respond with, "Guh-way-woh."  

In addition to knowing the name of my favorite player, Dash was also familiar with the Angels' color scheme, which might be related to the fact that we hooked him up with an Angels bib, t-shirts, hats and anything else Angels-related. So one day after Liz painted her toenails red, Dash called them "Guerrero toes," and the name stuck. Every time we take a trip to Angels Stadium, Liz puts on her Guerrero toes as a good-luck charm (they haven't lost a game that we've gone to).  

After Saturday night's heartbreaking (and frustrating) loss to the Yankees in Game 2 of the ALCS, I decided it was time to take things to a new level. Ya know, because my actions have a direct impact on the team's performance (don't they?). Needless to say, Dash was a little confused on Sunday when he looked at my feet and saw this:

Memorial Ride of Silence

As you all (all 4 of you) know, I only started riding regularly about 4 months ago. With my job being 40 miles away and family obligations, realistically the only available hours for me to ride are at night. I always wear a helmet, I have two bike lights (front and back) and my cycling shoes have reflective material on them. Whenever possible, I ride on dedicated bike paths,  in the bike lane or the sidewalk in the absence of a bike lane. 

And despite all my precautions and preparations, I ride with a little bit of fear. I only ride routes that I'm familiar with and aren't heavily traveled, but I know all it takes is one car. Or in the case of the Santa Clarita Valley, one monster truck. 

So I felt a sense of obligation when I heard about a Memorial Ride of Silence for Joe Novotny, a local cyclist who was killed by a drunk driver this past summer while riding along a popular cycling route here in the SCV. I don't know any other cyclists in town and I had no idea how many would show up, but I arrived at the designated sign-in area at 7:30 this morning. And I saw cyclists. A lot of them. My guess is around 200, but other estimates put it closer to 300. And I'm pretty sure most of us had never met Joe Novotny.

I always thought of cycling as a solitary sport for loners or those who don't like to be part of a team. Today I was both surprised and humbled by the turnout, and it became very clear to me that cycling is not a solitary endeavor by any means. It is, in fact, a tight knit community that rallies around its comrades. And today that community rode in unison -- for 12 miles in complete silence -- to honor the memory of a fallen member. 

Today I became part of a community, humbled by its commitment to its sport and moved by its dedication to its members.